Unplugged: How A Digital Detox Has Transformed My Life With Denise Kenny Byrne

A little over a month ago I started a new Head Plan Journal. I decided to call my long-term goals 4 0 goals as it was just 6 months to my 40th birthday! I began re-evaluating my own Head Plan and reflecting on how far I have come within myself the past couple of years. From overcoming an extremely traumatic time as a family, to welcoming our gorgeous baby girl Charlotte after a long and challenging road, from launching The Head Plan to recently appearing on BBC Dragons’ Den securing investment from Peter Jones, I have achieved so many big goals, both business and personal, through the efforts of aligning my actions everyday. I have set big goals to achieve before my 40th birthday, so I needed to check in with myself, recognise when I felt at my best and most empowered self, and realise where I was spending time that wasn’t actually serving me or propelling me towards achieving my goals. I spent a couple of days monitoring what I did in my free time and noticed the negative habits that were consuming my time... I was so shocked to find how much time I wasted mindlessly scrolling in the evening. 

 In a digitalised world and the constant availability of a quick dopamine hit after a scroll, it’s so easy to get caught up in the constant buzz of social media. Don’t get me wrong, I adore social media and I use it in a very impactful and empowering way by only following accounts I love and not confusing feeling inspired with feelings of comparison, but I knew it was going to hinder my progress if I kept getting distracted by the social media tools. Social media can be amazing for inspiration and that extra nudge of motivation, but finding the balance and creating strict boundaries in an era where we are ‘always on’ and ‘always available’ can be a challenge... but a challenge I am so glad I am now undertaking. Think of it like this, when you reflect on your week, I doubt you look back and say your high point of the week was that hour you spent on Instagram... the high point of your week and the time you felt the most alive, at peace or content was probably when you prioritised in-person connection and spent quality time with loved ones, or when you worked hard on a task that aligns to your future goals, or spent time journaling and connecting with yourself. So, if we know that these are the things we should be prioritising... why do we continually sabotage ourselves by doom-scrolling? YOU are the author of your life story, don’t let anyone else hold the pen. Don’t live your life through your phone screen... YOU are in charge of your day. I knew in order to take control of my thoughts and regain focus and clarity, I needed to disconnect to reconnect. 

When I saw the launch of the new Nokia Dumbphone, I knew this was the sign I was looking for. My husband Ciaran and I are very family orientated, we both come from a family of 7 and now that we have our little girl, Charlotte, we always prioritise seeing family on Sunday. These are the moments that fill your cup, make you feel the most loved, fulfilled and connected, so why was I still feeling the urge to doom-scroll? I can see it myself with people who are addicted to their devices, communication and connection dwindles... and this is the foundation for fulfilment and success.  

I made the decision to do a complete digital detox every single Sunday to focus on presence. Our phones are the single most distracting thing in our lives, with quick access to emails, WhatsApp's and social media, you are never unavailable... you will never truly switch off. The only way I would ever truly connect with myself, my thoughts and my loved ones was to become uncontactable (for the most part) and removed from the outer world for just 24 hours. Turning off my phone completely for a day was never an option, what if there was a family emergency? What if something happened? So, the introduction of the revival of the Nokia 3210 Dumbphone was the perfect excuse for me to begin my Sunday Digital Detox (which I sometimes love carrying into Monday, with the exception of an odd Whatsapp!) As someone who utilises social media as a key feature of my business, I will never remove myself completely and I’ll be honest I absolutely love it and connecting with the supportive community I have created, but by taking this mini break, I always come back feeling refreshed, recharged and even more creative.   

 

How I Complete my Digital Detox

Every Sunday I turn off my phone and switch over to my Dumbphone and almost feel an instant sense of relief. I won’t lie, we are all addicted to our phones... and I’m no different! The first few minutes are definitely a challenge without my phone, the first couple of weeks being the hardest. I do feel uneasy without the device by my side, but by pushing through this initial stage I begin to feel the rewards almost instantly. It’s wild how much of a habit our phone actually is... often I find myself reaching for my phone and opening up my social media apps merely out of habit, rather than the actual necessity of needing to go on my phone. I automatically feel more in tune with my thoughts and feel an instant greater sense of connection. I suppose it’s slightly different now that I have Charlotte glued to my side at all times, but I guarantee if you are child-free you would be SHOCKED at everything you could complete with your free time.... whether it’s reading a book, going on a walk, practicing a new hobby or engaging in a face-to-face conversation. It’s time to start filling your free-time with meaningful habits instead of unnecessarily watching everyone else live their life.  

 

My quick tips for a successful Digital Detox:  

 

• Self awareness is key. First take the time to review your own screen time. How many hours are you spending a day on your phone? Is that propelling you and holding you back from your future self and the life you want? 

 

• Set clear boundaries. Have clear times in which you turn off your phone and when you will switch it back on... be strict with this!  

 

• Be intentional about how you want to spend your phone-free day. Set your intentions in the morning, paying close attention to how you want to feel at the end of the day. Do you want to feel at peace with yourself? Do you want to feel clear on your goals? Do you want to feel accomplished? Do you want to feel fulfilled and connected with your loved ones? Go about your day with these intentions at the forefront of your mind.  

 

• Make a plan. Schedule events and things to look forward to for your day in alignment with your intentions... plan the things that will leave you feeling accomplished that day. This will probably change every week in accordance to your priorities. Some quick ticks I love to include during my detox day is to change my bed sheets, go on a family walk, do a healthy food shop and have a cup of tea with my family. You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to procrastinate these things! You sit down and pick up your phone for ‘5 minutes’... but before you know it an hour has passed and suddenly you’re in a rush to get out the door and have put these tasks on the long-finger. 

 

How I spend my Sundays instead: 

Every Sunday I have a thorough set-up session for the week ahead. Once I finish Charlotte’s night time ritual and she is asleep, I begin my own night-time ritual. I like to do this with a mug of herbal tea before my evening bath... I LOVE a bath for unwinding in the evening. 

My Sunday set-up helps me maintain focus and fine-tune my systems to actively pursue my goals. I absolutely cannot be without my Sunday ritual... so let me break it down for you:  

1. Reflect 

I cannot stress the importance of reflecting weekly! I use the prompts in The Head Plan Journal to evaluate how I spent my week. What worked? What would I like to change next week? What am I grateful for? High points, low points. Reflection is the foundation for growth... and I am all about growing. We never stop growing, but it is possible to remain stagnant if we don’t evaluate and change the way we do things if they aren’t exactly propelling us forward... reflecting is the only way to effectively do this.  

 2. Review 

It is imperative that I review my 4 0 goals every single week... both the long-term goals and the short-term ones that are getting me closer to the bigger picture. I practice a visualisation exercise as I review my visionboard in The Head Plan Journal. By spending time looking at this often and practicing visualisation, it keeps the vision and goals at the forefront of your mind. By keeping these in mind, it makes it easier to align your actions and say NO to anything that might pop up during the week that doesn’t align with these goals.  

3. Set Weekly Goals 

Once I have reviewed my goals, it becomes much easier to set my goals for the upcoming week in line with the bigger picture. These are the smaller, everyday habits that help me work towards achieving the big goal. For example... I am currently working on a very exciting project that I plan to have complete by October. I am actively working on this and aligning my actions every week to work towards my ideal deadline. Every Sunday, I make a plan of what I must do this week to get me where I want to be for every goal I set using The Head Plan Method under our 6 headings. Think of this as your stepping stone to success and achievement!  

4. Agenda  

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail! I review my weekly diary and use The Head Plan Agenda to map out any scheduled meetings or appointments I have for the week ahead. Seeing everything clear in front of me makes it easier to know I am not taking on work that I shouldn’t be or spending time where it won’t serve me. This gives me a clear picture of where I need to be and when I need to be there, reducing time spent trying to organise myself everyday. This helps me be a much better mum, because I can see when I need to have childcare or where I could potentially combine meetings so I can be at home with Charlotte.  

5. Plan my day 

I plan my day the night before in The Head Plan Journal. By getting everything written down and out on paper it allows me to go to bed with a clear head and a clear plan in mind for the following day. I know exactly what I need to get done to achieve my weekly goal, it’s all about aligning those actions!!  

6. Outfit Planning  

I LOVE this. Every Sunday evening I clear my rail and start to plan out my week in outfits... I start with any events or meetings that I have where I have a certain outfit in mind. I love buying staples and finding new ways to style and rewear them! You can wear the same skirt sooo many different ways, and I love playing with this. I get the majority of my style inspo online during the week (the pros of social media) – I save anything that I see that I like and will recreate it in my own style. I start pulling out any bits that I love and know I feel good in and start creating my outfits on my rail. There is something so therapeutic about doing this completely distraction free and just enjoying the time to myself.  

Every Sunday I go to bed with the fire reignited in my belly to go after my goals and make it happen. I feel so calm and don’t have wild thoughts running around my head when I lie in bed at night. Life can definitely be busy, balancing motherhood, work-life and personal-life is quite the juggling act... but by reconnecting with myself, re-alining with my goals and focusing my thoughts it means I stay in control and live a life of intention and fulfilment.  

Doing my Sunday Digital Detox has transformed the way I enter a new week. I no longer end the week feeling like I’ve wasted any time, or feeling out of touch with my goals... I feel so in touch with my own thoughts and I know exactly what I need to do to show up as the best version of myself everyday, both for the people around me and for myself.  

Make sure you don’t spend your life watching other people live theirs through the screen of your phone, there is a whole life to be lived out there and YOU can make it happen. 

There are 6 months left in the year... that is a whole 6 months for you to  

Write it down & make it happen  

Start re-focusing your thoughts, get clear on your goals, re-align your actions. I URGE you to try your Sunday Digital Detox... let’s do it together.  

Denise xox