How To Master Your Inner Chimp for a Calm, Peaceful and Rewarding Life
We’ve all had those moments... where we suddenly snap at someone, speak badly to ourselves or others, or overreact to something that actually isn’t a big deal. How often have you reacted to a situation in an irrational way, only to later regret your response? Well, you might be pleased to hear that, that actually isn’t you or your personality... the likelihood is that it is your Chimp acting. While this might seem like a foreign topic, understanding and managing your Chimp can lead to a much calmer, more focused and enjoyable life.
The Chimp Theory is a psychological model introduced by Prof Steve Peters in his groundbreaking mind management book ‘The Chimp Paradox’. According to Peters, the human brain has three systems: The Chimp System, The Human System and The Computer. Your inner Chimp is the part of your brain that is in play when you act impulsively, emotionally and without regard to situations you otherwise wouldn’t. You might find yourself jumping to conclusions and reacting without giving your rational and logical mind a chance to think. The Chimp is all emotion, often unreliable and often base their actions on how they feel in the present moment, whereas Humans tend to make decisions based on how they will feel when they look back at the end of the day. This part of your brain often prioritises feelings of anger, fear and aggression, acting fast without thinking rationally, leading to emotional outbursts or irrational decisions, especially in stressful situations. This is often the part of your brain that reacts first when you feel uncomfortable or threatened, so learning how to manage your inner Chimp will be one of the most important things you do to take control over your thoughts and actions.
The Human represents the rational and logical part of the brain, the part that reacts in a way you will truly feel content with. This part is responsible for making well-thought-out decisions, considering the long-term results and consequences and approaching problems with calm and reason. This is the part of your brain that considers your long-term goals and aligns your actions to achieve these goals.
In everyday life, your Human and Chimp are often at odds, fighting with one another to win control of your mind. The Chimp acts impulsively based on emotion and instant gratification, while the Human chooses to respond in a calm way, gaining perspective and aligning to your goals. Although this may seem challenging, the good news is, with awareness and practice you can learn how to quiet your inner chimp, helping you gain control over your mind and your life. So, the next time you feel irritated, you will be equipped with the tools to acknowledge that this is simply your Chimp speaking and you will be able to better manage the situation. Although sometimes your Chimp will be loud and may feel in control, there are ways you can learn to quieten this part of your brain for a truly enjoyable and peaceful life. Managing your emotional and impulsive Chimp will be one of the greatest factors determining how successful you are in every aspect of your life... how you respond to situations and challenges, how you deal with people and how you overcome hurdles.
When might your Chimp take over?
Understanding when you might expect to have a strong Chimp is important for looking out for warning signs so you can then deal with it... You may experience a strong Chimp:
- During stressful periods at work with tight deadlines or important decisions to be made and someone takes longer than usual to respond to your email.
- When you receive constructive criticism, you might automatically want to jump on the defense.
- When you’re stuck in traffic and a car pulls out in front of you (your automatic Chimp response might be to honk the horn and mutter under your breath)
- If a friend cancels plans last minute your Chimp might automatically jump to feelings of rejection.
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When you begin to feel hungry your Chimp will automatically want to reach for sugary, highly processed foods for instant gratification.
Managing The Chimp:
The key to managing your Chimp is understanding when it has taken over and is in control, so you can then work on quietening it down.
1. Exercise The Chimp
If your Chimp is agitated about something, the first thing you need to do is release this emotion – also known as ‘Exercising The Chimp’. This means saying exactly what you think (it is best to do this alone so you don’t have to hold back), no matter how irritational it may be and doing this for as long as it takes until you have nothing left to say. Once you have finished, take a few deep breaths and enjoy the release. Then, allow The Human to select the sensible things that have been said and ignore the nonsense. Wait for the right time and place to do this exercise... doing this in front of the wrong person or in the wrong place will probably lead to regret. Once you have finished exercising your Chimp, put it to bed. Sometimes you might find it easier to write down your innermost thoughts and feelings, The Head Plan Blank Journal is perfect for this! It can also help expressing your emotions with someone you trust, that may provide guidance, console you or simply lend an ear.
2. Box
Once you have finished exercising your Chimp, you have a chance to deal with it in a more measured way. Using facts, truth and logic we can continue to calm the Chimp down and reason with it. This reasoning by the Human is called ‘Boxing The Chimp’. The Human will often acknowledge that although it may feel uncomfortable, injustice happens, people act in ways you don’t entirely agree with and often people may disagree with you. The fact is, sometimes it might be worth fighting your corner in a calm reasonable way, but sometimes you just need to understand you will not get the outcome you truly desire and must cut your losses. Remember, the Chimp is simply making you an OFFER on how to respond to situations, you have the choice to react in a way you know will serve you and bring you the highest level of peace. This is the act of ‘Boxing Your Chimp’ and choosing the Human mind.
3. Banana
The third way to manage the Chimp is to feed it bananas. There are two types of bananas: distractions and rewards. Although this may not be a very powerful way to solve problems, in certain circumstances it can be a very effective way to manage the Chimp. Distracting your Chimp is a way to ensure you don’t allow the Chimp thoughts to take over. For example, if you wake up in the morning and your Chimp is automatically in overdrive saying, ‘I’m tired, I can’t get up today’, you must distract your Chimp and allow positive thoughts to override your Chimp. For this to work, you must effectively distract your brain from thinking. Instead, when you wake up affirm ‘I feel energised and ready to take on the day’ before counting down from 5 and immediately getting out of bed. We recommend then pulling your daily mantra from The Mantras, a deck of 52 powerful affirmations written by Forbes ‘Queen of Manifesting’, Roxie Nafousi. The banana keeps the Chimp from thinking and talking you out of positive actions or habits but must be acted on quickly. Also, rewarding your Chimp can be surprisingly powerful. For example, if you have 10 emails to respond to, but all you want is your 3pm sweet treat... you can reason with your Chimp by saying once I have responded to 5 of my emails, I will then reward myself with my sweet treat. Most Chimps look for recognition and approval from others, so you can also reward your Chimp by feeding into their validation requirement by inviting someone around to your house once it has been cleaned or sharing your hard work with others.
Benefits of a Quiet Chimp:
Learning how to quieten your Chimp and manage your mind could be one of the best things you ever do for your personal and professional success, and you suddenly overcome challenges with ease, while protecting your peace. Managing your Chimp is about perfection, but rather about progress. The more you practice, the more you will find yourself in control, responding mindfully rather than acting impulsively.
As you work on quietening your Chimp you will notice:
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- A stronger sense of purpose and control
- Stronger relationships
- Increased resilience
- Heightened sense of self-empowered and self-love
- Increased focus and productivity
- An overall sense of calm
Learning to master your Chimp is like choosing a calm, peaceful and rewarding life rather than a life of heightened emotion, irrational decisions with knee-jerk reactions. We have all been there, honking the horn, snapping at a colleague, gorging on chocolate or easily feeling overwhelmed by the little things. But remember, that’s not the real you... The more you recognise when your Chimp is in control, the more you take back the control and respond in a way that will truly serve you and your personal growth.
As you work on quietening your Chimp, (which, trust us, is an ongoing work in progress!) you will begin to experience a more peaceful and centred life. Whether it’s navigating difficult conversations, managing work stress or simply dealing with everyday daily frustrations, keeping your Chimp in check will make all the difference!
Braced with the tools to make it happen, it is time to step into your highest power and take back control of your mind. YOU can do it!